Archie "Archibald" Fish Benjamin
Requiem for a Fish
Archie “Archibald” Fish Benjamin - named after actor Cary Grant - was a wonderfully complex betta fish that my partner and I looked after.
He could be a real fucking asshole… flashing and flaring and booping snails all day long to teach them their place in his world. The snails did not care at all, of course, but Archie cared and that's all that mattered.
He was also a special companion. Archie helped teach me to play “Urban Spaceman” by Bonzo Dog Band on guitar and routinely kicked my ass in Scrabble.
I am glad that Archie made it to the stage. Not a lot of betta fish can say that, you know. When I showed him the video, he was understandably disappointed in the production quality but overall supportive of me trying new things.
I will miss our nights sipping Laphroaig by candlelight with something by Grieg or Mendelssohn playing in the background as I read George F. Will opinion columns to him. Afterwards, I would often find Archie’s polite, but critical comments at the bottom of the post. He had already read the article, of course, but didn’t tell me because he didn’t want to ruin our special time together.
I also loved that he was a snob. A real fish snob, you know? If you didn't deliver him a pellet directly in front of his mouth, he was not about to make accommodations for you. He knew his worth and he made sure that you knew it, too. You have to respect that.
Recently… he became lethargic, eating less and had developed a swollen stomach.
My partner is the best fish mom in the world. She properly monitored the water parameters, made regular water changes and provided a beautiful seasonally changing landscape for him to luxuriate in.
And we thoughtfully and carefully tried several treatments, but in the end, her best efforts and my anxious concern could not save him.
Because we are not fucking fish doctors and neither is Reddit.
And who knows, maybe he just bit off more snail than he could chew.
If you have a terrible amount of empathy, a fish is a terrible pet. You will connect with them, quite possibly conflating your own condition with theirs, but you can't really share your feelings... touch them to let them know you care… or hold them to console them as they struggle to hang on… breathing heavily. You just have to sit… and look through your own reflection in the glass… and whisper sentiments they can't feel no matter how desperately you want them to.
I loved that little guy.
I cried.
And it all feels like a villain origin story.
Because I make mountains out of molehills.
And when I lose a molehill, it makes me want to take a mountain in return.
But Archie wouldn't want that.
Really… who knows what Archie wanted. I just hope he got enough of whatever it was he wanted while he was here.
So I'll just flip off the snails, pour out a glass of Laphroaig and try to think outside my own tank more often.
