OCD On Holiday
Vacation in Barcelona. Drag Name: Pretty OCD.
This was just supposed to be a joke.
And then it actually happened.
We went to the beach one day and once we were at the beach, I thought, “Did I leave the bidet running?” And I considered going back to check, potentially ruining the whole day. But thankfully, my partner gave me a very stern look and with her scary, serious voice said, “No.”
I didn’t care about the stove, though. We were renting an apartment with an electric stove and there was a little bit of that, “Well…it’s not really my place…” mentality that causes most people to leave dirty clothes and food everywhere, but which just let me stop worrying…so much…about everything blowing up…all the time…for a week.
BUT THE BIDET!
The bidet was a serious concern. Catalonia was in the middle of a drought and water needed to be conserved, which explicitly meant not leaving bidets running for several hours.
In certain social situations, I kind of like the Ugly American role. I’m a pretty nice Ugly American, actually. But I did not want to be the Ugly American responsible for people dying of dehydration and famine just because I left a bidet running for a period of time grossly in excess of any realistic hygiene benefits.
So I started checking…more…and more…
Which is exactly how “checking” works.
You can’t check enough.
We all know about Schrodinger’s cat. But Schrodinger probably had a stove, too. And maybe even a bidet. And that’s how it works for me. I’ll check the stove. See that it is off. But as soon as I stop observing it, all bets are off. ANYTHING could have happened! It could be in ANY state! Even Nebraska.
But I wasn’t in Nebraska. I was in Barcelona. On vacation. So I took that time…to do some recursive research, checking on checking. Which is in fact its own brand of OCD, compulsively checking anything that could harm anyone or anything that you value.
The only cure, it seems, is to learn NOT to value anyone or anything, becoming a soulless monster.
I am remorseless to say that I am making progress, but it’s not perfect.
And this video is a good example of that perfectionism flavor of OCD. This was meant to be the start of me more casually creating short videos and not fretting over every pixel before I post them.
When I record in the very confined confines of my apartment, there are some restraints I don’t have control over, but I can pretend I do…for a very long time. And that’s a problem.
When you’re out in the open though, there are way too many variables, so you really have to try to learn how to live with them…after several, several takes, that is.
Now, some of those variables produce thrilling serendipity. In this video, I love the rays of sun that flicker in and out as I walk, and the sound of the horn blowing just as my OCD sets in, thinking about the bidet.
But then there’s the pair of people prominently walking closely behind me, who’s privacy has been violated. I better blur their faces. And while we’re doing that, why not add a color gradient over the scene. Is it too late to fix my teeth, fly back to Barcelona, get everyone back in place and reshoot? And what about that other joke I have about checking the stove? Should I record that and add it before I post?
You do have to have some standards, but just like a bidet, nothing’s perfect. At some point you just have to say, “Good enough…” pull up your pants and get on with your day.1
After checking that you turned the bidet off, that is.
“You gotta wash your ass, if you must
You gotta wash your hair, if you must
You gotta brush your teeth, if you must
Or else you'll be funky”
Del the Funky Homosapien
“If You Must”
Sex is like that, too.