It’s true, you know.
Every election day.
For a split-second when I see that VOTE AQUÍ sign, I think “Man…who’s this guy?”
I think that if you were to change your last name to Aquí and run for office, you’d get elected on name recognition alone.
You know those rules that make it illegal to electioneer within like a hundred yards of the polling place. No campaigning? No signs?
No problem for Candidate Aquí.
VOTE AQUÍ
Eventually, everyone running for office would have to change their last name to Aquí just to stand a chance.
Peak Sneetch!
That’s what I would do. I would change my name to Peak Sneetch and run for office. I’d be the only one who would stand out amongst a sea of Aquís and I would certainly get elected.
Then, after “The Scandal”, I’ll take a few years off before releasing my transgressive electroclash masterpiece, The Teaches of Sneetches.
What I’m saying is…I’ll be fine.
Don’t worry about me.
END-OF-POST REVIEW
VOTE AQUÍ - CORE CONCEPTS
Aquí - Translated from Spanish to English, “aquí” means “here”. Most polling places in the United States of America have signs posted that say VOTE HERE in English as well as signs with the Spanish equivalent VOTE AQUÍ. However, as the first word in the Spanish translation is the same in English, you could imagine someone who doesn’t know any Spanish reading the Spanish language sign IN English, as though the sign means to encourage them to vote for a candidate with the last name Aquí.
Anyway…Peak Sneetch - The Sneetches is inarguably the greatest achievement of Dr. Seuss. There are weird creatures called Sneetches. Some got stars on thars. Others, not so much. Then some guy shows up and sells them access to a machine that puts stars on thars and then another machine that takes stars off thars. That guy makes a lot of money and is very happy. So candidates changing their last names to Aquí just to be special like everyone else could be thought of as “Peak Sneetch”.
Electroclash - Uh… I don’t know either…
The Teaches of Sneetches - This is a Sneetchified reference to The Teaches of Peaches, a transgressive electroclash masterpiece by the artist Peaches.